What just happened on tour in the sunshine doubles? In both Indian Wells and Miami 1000 Masters events on the Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) and Women’s Tennis Association (WTA) we saw a huge shift in the Finals, Aryna Sabalenka (No. 1 female player) and Novak Djokovic (No. 5 male player) got ousted by teenagers in their maiden finals event on US soil.

What does this signify, a tidal change in the game? A passing of the baton? We knew this time would eventually come, but I can tell you as an avid follower of the game; in the past two decades of absolute dominance of the likes of the Williams Sisters and a sprinkling of other female talented players, and in the men’s section, of the Big 3 (or 4, if like me you are a fan of Sir Andy Murray) Roger Federer, Rafa Nadal and yes, my absolute favourite and indisputable best Male Player of the past 50 years, 24 - time Grandslam winner Novak Djokovic, I haven’t seen anything as interesting as this.

This week the season comes to Europe, specifically the beautiful Principality of Monaco, and home to the popular Formula 1 racing event. The Monte Carlo tennis club is poised to host yet another 1000 masters, albeit on clay. This signifies the shift from the Hard court season to the Clay court, which will ultimately end on the greatest surface (for me, apologies to the Grass) Roland Garros Finals in May.

Bringing me to my topic of today: while going through past journals I stumbled upon an entry made in 2008 during the US Open, as the second week began. I wrote:

It’s the beginning of the second week of the US Open, the last major Grandslam of the tennis season. I sit reflecting on the games watched over the last week and one particular match stands out as the worst match I have seen in a while from a top player. Dinara Safina (4-time Grandslam Finalist between 2008-2009), who won the most points in the run-up Summer Olympic series (and became No. 1 in the world this past spring with two clay court wins over Serena Williams and Justine Henin) played a very mediocre game to reach the fourth round of the US Open (though she went on that year to get to the SF, only losing to Serena Williams). As I sit here watching the top class tennis players on the ATP, a question keeps coming to mind “. . .which woman is ready to hold unto the number 1 spot?” I have a renewed respect for Justine Henin, because playing at the top level for a long time is a tough one. Ivanovic perhaps played her last best match on the day she became the number 1. Prior to the match, she had had no clue that she was on the spot for the number 1 WTA player, but after winning the French Open (also known as Roland Garros) in the spring, she seems to have fizzled out of the picture, barely making it to second or third rounds in any of the tournaments anymore, shockingly losing this week in the second round.

So what is it with the number 1 spot and the subsequent pressures? In the ATP, Novak, one of the up and coming players, also lost in Wimbledon right after winning his first Grandslam title at the Australian Open (AO) earlier in the year. He admitted in his second round exit interview that the pressures of winning the AO and then subsequently being so close to becoming number 2 on the ATP got to him.

Journal on 11/09/2023:

Becoming number 1 and winning last night his fourth US Open and 24th Grandslam shows and speaks volumes about this man Novak Djokovic and his philosophy about his sports and life in general; and reflecting back from his first to his 24th Slam trophies there is much more we can learn from his career path, not only for tennis but for life in general. The question on everyone’s lips would surely be can he win one more Slam?

Back to the now, as I conclude this post on the Monte Carlo Masters 1000 Series, one of the build up tournaments on clay as we move closer to the Roland Garros 2025, will Novak be victorious again? Where will he win his 100th title and will it come this year? All of this as the excitement also builds in the WTA, will Aryna Sabalenka hold on to her number 1 spot through the spring or will we see a true shifting of the guards. Well, all I can do right now is give a big shout out to defending Champion Stefanos Tsitsipas and hope that he can make the hat-trick (three in a row) as all the guys come down to his favourite surface - Terre Battue. Who will the cap fit?

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Like another Abraham, we’ll sacrifice our children, our partners, our friends, our country, our planet, if we can only share a glimpse of the God who sacrificed everything!!

Such is the spirituality of this place called the “Tennis Court”. Those who have played at Roland Garros or Wimbledon speak of this ever so often and know exactly what I am referring to when I say there is an emotional connection we share watching this game.

On a backdrop such as this in a beautiful place called Beaulieu -Sur-Mer, I find myself once more entranced by the beauty of the mountains overlooking the players on court as they craft and create their way through to a prestigious ITF (International Tennis Federation) Junior Tournament. Children all over France and sometimes from faraway come to participate in these pre-qualifiers to get a chance to play in the J-300 tournament that will give them a boost towards a better ranking in their Junior years.

The venue is a beautiful city that is woven into the poetic and cultural heritage of France, it boasts some very scenic views of majestic mountains that makes any observer feel the presence of a God who speaks through His natural creation, lending voice to the hymn that sings: “O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder, considering all the works Thy hand has made.” Alighting. from the train, I am captivated by the showcase of architectural style Palace homes, carefully tended lush gardens and historical artefacts that surround the entrance to the tennis club de Beaulieu.

Yesterday, I was watching Novak Djokovic play in Miami, against his friend Lorenzo Musetti, and as I stepped into this place I could not help but think if perhaps both at some point in their careers had also played in this same tournament and if they had, could it have evoked in them this same feeling of awe I felt in this moment looking at the clouds touching the trees and the mountains as if a secret were being spoken to them. Such were the meditative thoughts going through my head as I waited to watch the matches that were unfolding before me.

In my meditative state I saw the distance of time and space merge in one place - the tennis court - where dreams and belief collide to create a tapestry of well woven ideas, work, and sacrifice on a canvas of hope. The beautiful art of playing the game as one perfect dance is what leads us to strive with each passing year hoping that one day our children will transcend from here to the next level on the ATP and WTA circuits.

The beauty of a singleness of mind.

The hallmark of trail blazers like Abraham, Moses, Joshua (when their eyes were opened), and Mary when her eyes were opened in the garden when she saw Jesus and she spoke up when it was dangerous for anyone to proclaim the risen Christ saying: “I have seen the Lord” And she told them what He had said to her. (Jn. 20:18), makes one think deeply about the connections we make in this world when we are singleminded but yet interconnected. Tennis is such an individual game, so to state that I met in this one afternoon friends from two or three years back, who like me have been traveling the road with their children; and we were able to share a lunch without having planned it, catch up on all our individual tournaments, trainings, ups and downs, plus all the lessons learned contributed to my emotional and mental well-being for the month. It rejuvenated my writing and creative juice and made me realise how much this sport of tennis has given to me, and how connected to my spiritual life it really is.

When you compete in such a sport as ours where loosing is more guaranteed than wining but performance even in loss is respected and celebrated. This embodies for me the true spirit of outdoing one another in giving honour to the other person. By showing up on the court, we do speak out. I share this because I can and because of the dedication I know it takes for parents to follow children around the world to give them an edge or even just to fulfil dreams. It seems like a thankless job and most times definitely it is, but when all is said and done, the friendships that the children develop and the resilience to fall back on even in the tough times of their adult lives will be the hallmark of the works that have been performed on these tennis courts. And we are bold to speak it at a time when others may think we are just spending our time, chasing a fuzzy, yellow ball!

So finally I am bringing it all together, my writing and my tennis. The platform to write and feel inspired on the tennis court for me symbolise all the events that have led me to this one moment in my career. What is that? (smile) Yes, I could not tell you I have a job, but rather what I would say is that I have a purpose. The one thing that keeps calling me to it over and over again, and that one thing is intertwined with the inner-man. My motivation to keep doing what I do is really all about sharing the Bible, sharing the experiences of how my life reflects His when I allow myself be the Word of God that someone else sees.

My passion, I lay it all down when I play tennis; and God knows that as Jesus had once said to the lady He met at the well that there will come a time when we will no longer have to go to a particular mountain or sacred, marked out place to serve Him, but rather our service of Him will be marked by the heart that reaches out to others, and seeks the truth! Not in any place, not by performing some religious ritual (no pawn intended) but simply by observing and allowing our very presence be the Bible (His Truth) in action be what others read and then along with the trees, the Mountains and all that surrounds us, join to bare witness to the fact that indeed there is a God and He sits majestic on His throne, for all to serve and give Him glory

If we are pretty honest with ourselves, at some point this has been us! Especially on a Saturday afternoon when you’ve had that awfully stressful week, yet you have all the kids’ games to go to right through to the end of the Saturday, it’s 3.00p.m and you find yourself behind the steering wheel “Thank God you say I am going home to put my feet up!” Next thing you get a jolt because of the blaring horn of the driver in the car behind you and you are suddenly brought to reality. For one second you had let your eyelids close, you had let your guard down.

Well, that jolt is exactly how I feel about being a parent, from the moment that baby comes home with you from the hospital, ‘sleep’ as you know it goes out the window and forever you are in front of the line.

At one time we were naive, and thought that after the kindergarten days we could rest up a bit and breathe some sigh of relief, we’ve come through the ‘terrible two’s’ and ‘tantrum three’s’; and then we get to the adolescent stage thinking “What are they mad at us for?” Recently I discovered it’s not because of anything we did, it just is! Then, they have the jobs and once more we cannot really sleep, because…; next stop, time to think of the marriage partner and that in itself is another book to be written.

“When did we sign up for this?” One night in bed, I find myself having a conversation in my head with my late mom: “You never told me it will be this hard.” And I suddenly smile to myself when I hear her voice all those days long past telling me not to sleep too deep, to wake up early and be about my chores, to do the mundane things and not bother if my brother said thanks or my sister didn’t care that I had just made the bed.

Becoming a parent is definitely like being the first at the traffic stop. We are about to go on a road trip and sometimes it feels like we don’t really know where this road will lead. Like my devotional taught me this morning, for some of us this newness, this beginning often times makes us scared, threatens us in some ways because we are out of our comfort zone and at the best of times, we really want things to just stay the same. Our family and friends want us to be the same, they may say they want us to succeed until they realise that our success brings up commitments that take us away from doing things the way we used to do them before. Now, we have other responsibilities that strip us of the time to have those long chats on the phone on Sunday evenings like we used to, our days are filled with things like reading assignments, and doctors’ appointments, school game nights and whatever activities our children are signed up for, and before we know it decades have passed and lives have moved on. If we are lucky most of our friends are in the same cycle and we get to celebrate these moments too, when we do occasionally have the time to catch up, if not we find new acquaintances that may later become friends just because of their proximity (remembering the song to the sitcom ‘that’s when good neighbours become good friends’). Large family gatherings become sacred and so and so the story goes. I boldly write this today because for some time now I have been reading the pages of a past journal from ten years ago. I smile when I see how meticulously I wrote down my schedule for the children, for myself, and the amount hours collectively I put into every chunk of things I did. And so when I stumbled upon this thought written by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“To laugh often and much;

to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children,

to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others,

to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;

to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived.

This is to have succeeded.”

I pause for a moment to write and say thank you…

To all those parents who have sacrificed their high paying jobs, and passed on promotions because you could not live far from your family and children. To Fathers who have stood through temptations to worldly living and forsaken all to keep the sanctity in their homes. To mothers who have spent sleepless nights on their knees bringing their children at the ‘midnight hour’ to the mercy seat and sending encouraging messages. To all the sisters and brothers who send those encouraging messages when they are most needed! To cousins and friends who are always there to cheer the next project, no matter how unbelievably absurd it sounds and even looks on paper (smile, wink). To all who make us laugh and make this journey a bit lighter, you are the jolts we need when we let our guards down.

To you and to me, I encourage us to keep going, I am not going to lie to you that it will get any easier, but I can assure you of this, if you and I decide to stay in the present we will feel and enjoy; and transform our minds to a daily renewal of acceptance of the gift that each new day brings and the peace of mind knowing that we have witnesses all around us (both seen and unseen) that cheer us on and are greater on our side than any hardship that we may face.

This tennis life is not all about winning trophies, rather it’s about the people you meet and the connections you make along the way. Covid - 19 taught me this in so many ways and I will forever be grateful for one of the greatest lessons I learnt from it. Happiness and Sadness are both sides of the same coin, you live through each of them pretty much the same way (as you become more emotionally mature). No two people have spoken this in life and in poetry like Arthur Ashe - speaking about his illness that led to his eventual death - and here I paraphrase his meaning in my own words, and from what I learnt from Rudyard Kipling’s poem “should I thank God for only the good and then question Him when the bad comes”. I believe Arthur was able to say this because apart from his deep spirituality (because the Him he referred to was God), he had also played in Wimbledon several times and would have had to pass the inscription as most players have who played on center court there reads: “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two impostors just the same;”

And the second person is my dad, in 2012 he had to leave the company that he had started with his brother (for personal reasons) and start off again. Not only did he do this, but he also went into something totally different - farming - which gave him the outlet to live out his dreams to his heart content, personalising another aspect of the Rudyard Kipling poem that I like “If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss, and lose and start again at your beginnings, and never breathe a word about your loss;”

Madison Keys’ at the just concluded Australian Open, has made me really strongly believe what I wrote in my book Seasons of Antibes, that tennis is a microcosm of life. Meaning if you wait long enough and go through all the seasons that life brings your way, while taking the pause to learn from each happiness (when you win a tennis match or tournament) and/or sadness (when you lose one you feel you should have won). Tennis has made me a strong person and the journey as a tennis parent trying to help my kids find their way through navigating the tough terrain has brought me some really painful and joyful moments. In the midst of tough personal trials I have learnt deeply from my tennis life and the connections I have made in the SoF in this beautiful city of Antibes and how this has helped me. The photo above was taken just after we had come out of the first lockdown of Covid-19, totally new experience for all of us but as you can see from the closeness of those two in that picture (we all had missed close human contact); the power of friendship and hugs can never be overestimated. Some months later I asked her to advice him and I smiled when she said “Listen to your mother” with the same genuine smile and sincerity that we have come to know from the player Coco. For me the journey of my tennis mom life is one that has really added as much as it has taken from me. And like Arthur and my dad, I choose to keep moving on with virtue and not losing the authentic me, because at the end of the day that is all I ever want!

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This weekend was just the kind of quiet with a bit of activity that I needed. Getting away from the hustle and bustle of the past four weeks in Lekki with all its ‘crazy’ traffic and yes, I mean it what’s with all the chaos (having no markings on the road). I am used to driving on well marked roads so coming down here and having to deal with it, made me a bit stressed, and don’t lets get started on the ‘police’ check points. Yeah! Hit me with a comment if you feel me.

Now, you see why I had a good nice weekend tucked away in a solitary, nice retreat with my friend who wanted to learn some rudimentary tennis skills (hahaha). She picked me up with her driver and so I didn’t have to face the traffic and I had made us this lovely meal of Chicken Wrap and corn on a stick to go, which happens to be the perfect on the road meal. No fuss just gloss. Talking all the way, catching up on old plans and sharing plans for the New Year. We discussed children, husbands, in-laws and yes, even the dog!

In the afternoon we took a long stroll around the farm and then again at night, listening to the plantain leaves talking to one another and being fearful of an imaginary snake that could come out of the bushes (smile). In the morning we woke up to the cool sounds of birds and the slight smell of rain in the distance, before we set off to play some tennis and then do some yoga.

After this we had a lovely breakfast of kidney stewed vegetable eggs and Baked biscuits (American Style) over a nice gravy that was garnished with pork from the farm. Washing it all down with freshly squeezed juices all from the farm.

Before leaving I was surprised to see the farm hands laughing as they made Palm Oil from the kernels they had picked during the week. It reminded me of how simple life can be and seeing their smiling faces as they worked re-invigorated me.

Do more than exist: live

Do more than touch: feel

Do more than look: observe

Do more than read: absorb

Do more than hear: listen

Do more than listen: understand

Do more than think: reflect

Do more than just talk: say something.

• Psalm 139:23 - 24 says this: “Search me God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (NIV).

• Let’s allow that seat with you for a while and please feel free to leave your comments. I really want to know how deep meditation of this verse speaks to you as much as it did me then, and still does whenever I feel the pruning hand of the Holy Spirit.

How does one live without merely just existing?

The Turtle is one animal that fascinates me to date. We have a few of them on our farm and some days I spend just observing them. They are really a weird kind. And it reminds me of how so often we can exist like these creatures, locking up our emotions in a hard shell. Shutting out others that should mean a lot to us and not allowing our God-given talents bless others and change the world of even one person.

Tell me if we may discuss it further, what would have happened to this world if Steve Jobs hadn’t knuckled down and put all his talent into creating the Apple products that we all so cannot do without. Myself included, I use the Apple range of products to live very seamlessly; from the MacBook to iPad to the iPhone, etc. My life and work can flow seamlessly because of the ideas of one man (may he continue to RIP) who against all odds and obstacles followed his big dream, his one idea like I discuss on the 23rd page of Chapter 2 of my book “Seasons of Antibes”

How does one listen (with the heart) and not just hearing with the outer ear?

This takes conscious effort and is the heart of truly discovering oneself. According to John C. Maxwell: “It is your duty to find yourself.”

Yes, indeed it is. When one has an epiphany it usually is a rare feeling and excitement that we get. I got a load of them last year through the TOP three books that transformed me in the Year 2024, starting from “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks, to Ryan Holidays’ “Ego is the Enemy” and finally “The 6 Types of Working Genius” by Patrick Lencioni. As time goes on we shall share a bit of these and the learnings I took away from each author.

In concluding this first post, I would like to bring in one more facet of my life that defines a lot of what I do now, which is coaching tennis and ensuring the next generation stays and starts the discipline of sports from a young age. My methodology of coaching, which I have proven over the years as my work with various schools in the teaching of tennis can testify to, gives me the confidence to carry you along in this journey of self discovery; as I have come to discover that everyone can learn but not everyone needs to learn in a classroom.

‘Bella’s Square gives you the opportunity to express that deep YOU. Connecting together in a holistic approach to discovering all facets of ourselves inspires me to create in this sub stack and share my personal experiences, on how the desire to provide safe and professional opportunities for young tennis players, the need to address specific challenges within the Nigerian tennis landscape, merges with my deep search for spirituality without religion.

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